Why Do I Feel On Edge? Understanding the Fight or Flight Response

We’ve all had those moments.Your heart starts pounding out of nowhere.Your chest feels tight.Your thoughts race a mile a minute.

And it’s not because you’re running a marathon — it’s because you’ve just opened a difficult email, or someone cut you off in traffic, or your phone pinged with “urgent” news.

Sound familiar?

That’s your fight or flight response kicking in.

Your Body’s Ancient Alarm System

The fight or flight response is one of the oldest survival systems in the human body. Think of it like an inbuilt alarm that goes off whenever your brain senses danger.

Thousands of years ago, it helped our ancestors stay alive. If a wild animal appeared, the brain fired up this stress response to get the body ready to fight — or run.

The problem is, the same system is still running today. But instead of lions and bears, it’s triggered by things like:

• a difficult meeting,

• money worries,

• an argument with a partner,

• or the sheer chaos of juggling work, family, and life.

The alarm doesn’t know the difference between a tiger and a tax bill. It just sounds the siren anyway.

What Actually Happens in Your Body

When the alarm goes off, your brain sends messages to your nervous system. Almost instantly, your body changes gear:

• Your heart races to pump blood to your muscles.

• Your breathing speeds up to get more oxygen in.

• Your muscles tense, ready for action.

• You might get sweaty palms or butterflies in your stomach.

• Your mind sharpens, scanning for danger.

It’s not in your imagination. It’s biology. Your body is getting you ready to do something — to survive.

My Lightbulb Moment

When I first learned about fight or flight during my counselling training, I had one of those lightbulb moments.

I realised all those times I’d been jittery, restless, or “overreacting” weren’t me being irrational. It was my nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do.

I see that same relief on clients’ faces when we talk about this in counselling. The penny drops: “Oh… so it’s not that I’m weak, it’s just my body doing its job?”

Exactly.

Why We Feel On Edge So Often

Back in the day, the stress response was only triggered in life-or-death moments — and once the danger passed, our bodies returned to calm.

But today? Life is full of mini-threats.Emails. Deadlines. Social media. The news. That tense conversation you’ve been avoiding.

Each one pings your nervous system like a false alarm. And because they’re constant, many of us end up living in fight or flight mode.

No wonder we feel tired, restless, or anxious so often. Our body is running on high alert, as though danger is always around the corner.

Here’s the Good News

Your body isn’t against you — it’s trying to keep you safe. Once you start to understand this, it becomes easier to step back and think: “Ah, that’s just my fight or flight response.”

That awareness is the first step towards calming it down.

In counselling, I often help people recognise these patterns, find their own triggers, and learn practical tools to bring their system back into balance. It’s not about “switching off stress” completely (because life will always throw challenges our way), but about learning how to come back to calm.

What’s Next: Your Window of Tolerance

The fight or flight response is only half the story.

There’s another idea that makes sense of why sometimes we feel “wired and restless” while other times we feel “flat and shut down.” It’s called the window of tolerance — and it’s one of the most useful ways I’ve found to explain stress and anxiety to my clients.

👉 In my next post, I’ll explain what the window of tolerance is, why it matters, and how you can spot when you’re outside of it.

Nigel Skinner | Enestee Ltd Accredited Counsellor | Specialist in Stress & Anxiety📍 Based in North Wales & Chester | In-Person & Online sessions available🌐 www.enestee.uk📩