Polyvagal Theory Explained: Understanding Your Nervous System

Nigel Skinner
Nov 28, 2025
3 min read

Have you ever wondered why you sometimes feel anxious, shut down, or overwhelmed in situations that seem “normal” to others? Or why a supportive conversation can feel comforting one day but exhausting the next? Polyvagal theory provides a fascinating explanation: your nervous system is constantly regulating your sense of safety, and it has a profound impact on your emotions, behaviour, and relationships.

In this post, we’ll break down polyvagal theory in clear, practical terms, explore how it affects daily life, and offer simple ways to support your nervous system so that you can feel calmer and more connected.

What Is Polyvagal Theory?

Polyvagal theory was developed by Dr Stephen Porges and describes how the vagus nerve, a major part of the parasympathetic nervous system, influences emotional and physiological states. The theory identifies three core nervous system states:

Ventral Vagal (Safe & Social)
- You feel calm, engaged, and connected.
- You can think clearly and respond rather than react.
- Relationships feel easier and communication flows naturally.
Sympathetic Activation (Fight or Flight)
- Your body prepares to respond to perceived danger.
- Heart rate and breathing increase, muscles tense.
- Anxiety, irritability, and hypervigilance may appear.
Dorsal Vagal (Freeze or Shutdown)
- Your body reacts to overwhelm by disconnecting or shutting down.
- You may feel numb, exhausted, or detached.
- Motivation and energy can drop, and it may be hard to engage socially.

Most people move between these states daily without even noticing, depending on stress, environment, and internal signals.

Why Polyvagal Theory Matters

Understanding polyvagal theory helps explain behaviours and feelings that often feel confusing:

Anxiety and panic in “safe” situations
Emotional shutdown after conflict or stress
Difficulty connecting with others even when you want to
Feeling “stuck” in fear or hyper-alertness
Why past trauma can affect present-day reactions

It shows that these responses aren’t personal failings — they are the nervous system doing its best to keep you safe.

How Polyvagal Theory Explains Stress and Trauma

Trauma can shift the nervous system out of ventral vagal safety, making sympathetic or dorsal states more frequent. Even everyday stressors can trigger these states if the system is already on high alert.

Chronic fight-or-flight leads to irritability, tension, and anxiety.
Repeated freeze responses can cause numbness, dissociation, or low motivation.

By recognising these patterns, you can start to respond to your body’s signals rather than being controlled by them.

Practical Ways to Support Your Nervous System

Here are evidence-based ways to encourage your system back into a ventral vagal state:

Breathwork: Slow, deep breathing, especially with longer exhalations, signals safety to the brain.
Grounding: Notice what you see, hear, or feel to anchor yourself in the present.
Movement: Gentle stretching, walking, or yoga helps release stress hormones.
Micro-breaks: Short pauses throughout the day reset your nervous system.
Co-regulation: Being with calm, supportive people helps your system feel safe.
Environment: Soft lighting, soothing music, and tactile comforts cue relaxation.

Small, consistent practices can gradually widen your window of tolerance and improve your emotional resilience.

Conclusion: Polyvagal Theory in Everyday Life

Polyvagal theory gives us a framework to understand why we react the way we do — and how to support ourselves. By recognising nervous system states and learning ways to return to safety, we can reduce anxiety, improve relationships, and feel more in control of our emotions.

Your nervous system is not your enemy — it’s a guide, signalling when you need care, connection, and rest. Understanding it is the first step toward calm, clarity, and emotional freedom.