Mental Health Over Christmas and New Year: Letting Go of “Other People’s Christmas”

Christmas and the New Year are often described as a time of joy, connection, and celebration. Yet in my work at Enestee Counselling+, I regularly hear a different story. For many people, this period brings heightened anxiety, low mood, loneliness, or a quiet sense of “not measuring up”.

One of the biggest contributors to this emotional strain is the pressure to compare our own lives to what we see around us — particularly on social media.

Whether you’re spending the festive season in Greenfield, Holywell, Flint, Mold, Denbigh, or elsewhere across Flintshire and North East Wales, these challenges are far more common than people realise.

The Problem with “Other People’s Christmas”

Social media has a way of presenting a carefully curated version of Christmas: perfectly dressed families, harmonious gatherings, abundant gifts, and endless smiles. When we consume this content, often unconsciously, we begin to compare our own experience against it.

I often encourage clients to reflect on this question:“Am I judging my real life against someone else’s highlight reel?”

This vicarious focus on “other people’s Christmas” can lead to:

• Feelings of inadequacy or failure

• Guilt for not feeling grateful enough

• Loneliness, even when not alone

• Increased anxiety or low mood

It’s important to remember that what you see online rarely reflects the full reality — the arguments, grief, exhaustion, or financial stress that many people are also carrying quietly.

Being Present in Your Christmas

One of the most protective things you can do for your mental health over Christmas and New Year is to gently shift your attention back to your own lived experience.

Being present doesn’t mean forcing yourself to feel happy. It means allowing your Christmas to be what it is — without comparison.

That might look like:

• Enjoying a quiet walk locally rather than a busy social event

• Appreciating simple routines or moments of calm

• Letting go of expectations about how Christmas should feel

• Accepting mixed emotions — joy and sadness can coexist

Presence is about noticing what’s here, not what’s missing.

Gratitude Without Pressure

Gratitude is often encouraged at this time of year, but it can become unhelpful if it turns into self-criticism: “I should be grateful, others have it worse.”

In my counselling work across Flintshire, I encourage a softer approach. Gratitude doesn’t have to be grand or forced. It can be as simple as:

• A warm drink

• A moment of rest

• One person who feels safe

• A sense of relief that the year is ending

Enjoying what you have does not mean denying what you lack.

Managing Social Media for Your Mental Health

If you notice your mood dipping after scrolling, that’s useful information — not a failure of resilience.

Some gentle boundaries that may help over Christmas and New Year include:

• Limiting time on social media, especially first thing in the morning or late at night

• Muting or unfollowing accounts that trigger comparison

• Replacing scrolling with grounding activities (music, walking, journalling)

• Reminding yourself: “This is not the full picture.”

Protecting your mental wellbeing is not selfish — it’s necessary.

A Compassionate Start to the New Year

As the year turns, many people feel pressure to reflect, resolve, and reinvent themselves. For those already feeling emotionally stretched, this can be overwhelming.

Instead of asking, “What should I change about myself?”, a kinder question might be:“What helped me survive this year, and how can I support myself moving forward?”

Growth does not require harsh self-judgement. Often, it begins with compassion.

Final Thoughts

Christmas and New Year can magnify whatever is already present — joy, grief, stress, or uncertainty. You are not failing if this time of year feels difficult. You are human.

By focusing less on other people’s Christmas and more on being present in your own, you create space for authenticity, gentleness, and emotional balance. That, in itself, is something worth valuing.

copyright Enestee Ltd 2025 - please visit www.enestee.uk for my articles like this or to arrange a counselling session with me

Nigel Skinner.